So far this week, Tesla has destroyed the following:

• three sticks of lipbalm
• one pen
• two bottles of contact lense solution
• one phone, Nokia E70 (my phone!!! How could she??)
• one light bulb
• one book (mostly unread)

She is also in heat for the first time, and bleeding like a stuck pig.

To put it another way:

I have chapped lips, I can't open my eyes properly because my lenses are gluey, and I'm sitting in the dark. Here in the dark, I can't call my friends and family, I can't write bad poetry about my predicament. On the bright side, my book has been destroyed so I wouldn't be able to read it, and the splashes of blood about the place are a lot less disturbing.

ETA Just caught her investigating my hot water bottle (imported to Finland at great expense (not my expense)). If that had been destroyed, I couldn't have been held responsible for my behaviour.